When I left my first wife, I had nothing. I left her house with my guitars, a cafeteria table for a desk, a card table for a dining room table, the 20 year old guest bed from the guest bedroom, an old recliner, and a bean bag chair. About this time my narcissist mother (NM) was also in the process of moving to a new house on a lake. She was currently living in a condo and was in the process of buying new furniture for her new place on the lake. Knowing this, I called to see if she had anything she wasn’t going to use that I might be able to obtain from her.
Stephen: Mom, I know you’re getting ready to move and plan to purchase furniture for your new place. Is there anything that you currently have that you won’t be needing any longer? I currently have very little furniture and no money to purchase any because of the expenses related to my divorce. It would really help me out.
I ultimately ended up filing for bankruptcy during my first divorce because of the bills associated with the divorce.
NM: Well, we were planning to get new living room furniture and sell our current living room furniture.
NM’s living room furniture at this time was a fairly new white sofa with a matching love seat and coffee tables and end tables that matched.
Stephen: Could I possibly have your old living room furniture? It would really help me out.
NM: I don’t know. We were planning to sell it. Let me talk to (my stepfather) about it.
Stephen: OK, thanks mom.
A few days later, I was on the phone with my mother again:
Stephen: Have you made a decision on your living room furniture?
NM: Yes, (my stepfather) and I talked about it.
Stephen: So what did you decide?
NM: We are willing to sell it to you for $700.
Stephen: $700? Mom, I don’t have $700 to spend on furniture right now. I could probably give you like $200 for it, but I can’t afford $700.
NM: Well then we plan to sell it to someone else.
Stephen: Please mom, it would really help me out.
NM: No, if you can’t afford $700 then we will sell it to someone else.
I hung up the phone in disbelief. Here I was with absolutely nothing, eating off paper plates at a card table, and she won’t even lift a finger to help me out. I can’t even have the furniture for which she no longer has any use.
A few weeks later I was talking to the bass player in my band and he told me he had an old sofa that he didn’t need any more that I could have. He gave it to me for free.