A few nights ago I had a dream that really stuck with me. I do dream quite a bit, but most of the time I can’t remember anything about the dream five minutes after waking up. This one was different. I remembered it all day.
Here was my dream:
I’m standing in the grass in the backyard behind a fairly large house. It’s dark outside and I can see lights on in the house but I don’t see anyone in the house. Between me and the house is a large fire pit. There is no fire burning in the fire pit and the fire pit is filled with what appears to be ashes from wood. I have one of my prized guitars in my hands and I’m playing it. It’s an electric guitar, but it isn’t plugged into an amplifier. After playing it for a few minutes, the neck of the guitar literally splinters in my hands. Frustrated I take the guitar and throw it into the fire pit. I pick up another guitar, this one even more precious to me than the last one, and begin to play it. After a few more minutes, the neck on this guitar also splinters in my hands. I am dumbfounded, hurt, and frustrated. I throw the second broken guitar into the fire pit.
At this point I remember waking up. Evidently the high level of frustration accompanying my dream was enough to stir me from sleep.
I was quite shaken by the dream. The thought of having two of my prized guitars splinter in my hands was quite unnerving.
I decided to mention the dream to some friends and see what they thought about it. One of them helped me quite a bit to make the connection as to what the dream meant.
Here’s the explanation:
I’m in my backyard: This means I’m in a safe place and I’m secure. It also means I have a secret I’m keeping to myself.
I’m behind a large house with the lights on inside: The person asking me about my dream asked me how the house made me feel. I told her the house made me feel indifferent – neither good or bad. She said the house represents me as a person. The lights are on and it’s waiting for me to explore.
I’m playing guitar and each guitar I play splinters in my hands: I’m playing guitar, which is something I love to do. I love each guitar, but it refuses to love me back. Frustrated I keep trying and keep failing to have my love returned.
The fire pit with no fire but filled with ashes: These are the remnants of all the guitars I have burned in the past when they have broken and failed to love me back.
So to put it all together:
The guitar represents my family of origin. I love my family and I pour all my love into it, only to have my family reject me again and again. Every time I fail to have my love returned I burn the guitar as a way to deal with the painful emotions of that failure to obtain love from my family, which is why the fire pit is filled with wood ashes. The reason there is currently no fire in the fire pit is because I haven’t engaged my family in quite some time, and all the guitars that I had previously thrown into the fire pit are finished burning in the fire pit and become ashes. The house represents me as a person. The fact that I feel indifferent about the house shows how little I truly know about me as a person, because I have been more focused on obtaining my family’s approval. The house has been obstructed from my view for the majority of my life by the flames of the burning guitars in the fire pit. I had no idea who I truly was. Now, without the flames from the fire pit in my way, I’m free to stop focusing all my energy on playing guitars that don’t love me back and go about exploring the house, which I’m sure has much better guitars than I have in the back yard that will love me back and most likely has a fantastic amplifier to plug them into! . The backyard also represents that all this is a secret that very very few people know about.
It’s truthfully a very good dream, and validates the path that I have chosen to take with my family of origin. The fact that there is no fire in the fire pit shows that I have successfully dealt with the majority of the emotions related to my family of origin issues and that it’s time for me to focus on me and explore the house. It’s good to know that my deepest consciousness realizes that I am on the right path.