5 comments on “Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers

  1. Thanks for sharing that! It was one of the eye openers for me when I read it the first time. Almost to the tee that is my mother. Juicy gossip to the other siblings, made up or twisted stories. Causing jealousy and hate. She still does all of it.

    • It is amazing, isn’t it Robby?

      When I first found this on Parish Miller’s site, I think I read it and reread it for 2 hours straight. I literally couldn’t believe it. It so described my mother! I didn’t close the tab for over a week and kept coming back to the computer and rereading it and rereading it trying to let it all sink in.

      My mother had nearly every last trait. The only area where my mother really differed is that she wasn’t so much prone to rageful outbursts as she was prone to going pathetic. There was an incident that happened about 2 years ago where I attempted to call my mother on her bad behavior and she went terribly pathetic, telling me how horrible her life was, how she felt her father was bipolar, and how I had no respect for her. Did she apologize? Nope. Acknowledge my feelings? Nope. She was doing her level best to make me feel bad for pointing out her bad behavior. It might make a good blog post.

      As an aside, her comment that she thought her father might be bipolar shows the type of environment she grew up in, and how narcissistic families are passed from generation to generation.

      Stephen Bach

  2. The trick is when the NPD parent toggles between being narcissistic and normal. There was always just enough normal in my life to keep me second-guessing my pain. NPD is a spectrum disorder and the carriers run the gamut from mildly annoying to desperately in need of strychnine in a Pez dispenser.
    My life never seemed to be as bad as the after school specials. My troubles were never outlined in a pamphlet in the guidance counselors’ office. And yet I have almost every symptom of swimming through emotional poison all my life. You don’t pick up BDD and PTSD from a door handle or a toilet seat and you don’t create them alone. No matter how much your “loved ones” want you to believe it.

  3. Yes, this is my mother in every detail. My mother was evil in every sense of the word. I always felt abnormal to every other person while I was growing up as a youth. No other person I knew was like me in terms of my complete lack of self esteem and self worth. Every person I knew in my neighborhood when I grew up had way more self esteem and self confidence than I ever had in my entire lifetime. I always wondered why I was so insecure and so lacking in self esteem in regards to other people I knew around me during my entire life. Only until I was 40 years of age and a caregiver to my mother did I fully start to realize that my mother was the reason for all of my insecurities and self esteem issues. The worst part is that upon realizing that my mother was the root of all my issues is that I was forced to be her caregiver. This brought upon a slew of problems as my mother also realized that I realized her fault as a parent. This made being a caregiver hell on earth.

    • Hi Scott!

      It is amazing, isn’t it? The first time I read this, it was truly earth shattering. My mother had nearly every single trait. It’s very painful to make such realizations, but it’s necessary in order to begin your healing journey.

      I can’t imagine how hard that had to be for you, to be your mother’s caregiver at the same time that you realized that she was the source of many of your issues. The challenges that are placed on us in life due to a childhood of abuse are incredibly difficult for those that haven’t been exposed to such abuse to understand. Growing up with no concept of boundaries makes life extremely difficult. Thankfully you have finally made the realizations to understand the “why”. Many people never reach that step, and carry their abusive past with them to their graves. So celebrate! You’re on your way to a better life!

      Thank you for stopping by and commenting, Scott, and best wishes on your healing journey!

      Stephen

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