About a month ago I received three phone calls from my mother, the last of which was on my birthday. I went no contact with my mother about 18 months ago. My mother is the source of my abusive past, and I continued to carry her and her projected issues with me well into my adult life. I didn’t return any of her calls.
The first call was made to me in the middle of a workday while I was at work:
Hi Stephen, this is your mother. (Your stepfather) and I have recently moved from our house on the lake to an apartment, and we are wondering if you could come to our new apartment and hook up our TV and stereo equipment. Call me back at (phone number).
Mind you, I haven’t talked to her in 18 months, then suddenly out of the blue she calls because she needs me to do something for her. After listening to the message while still at work, I remember spending nearly an hour shaking my head. Every time I would think about her call I would shake my head. Seriously? We have had no contact for 18 months and you call me because you need me to do something for you? She doesn’t even bother to ask how I am or how my daughter is? Incredible! Still shaking my head…
The second call came 3 days later:
Hi Stephen, this is your mother. One more time, can you hook up our TV and our stereo equipment? We bought a new TV and have no idea how to hook it up. If you don’t hook it up, I’ll have to pay someone to set it up. Call me back and let me know.
Amazing! Now she’s badgering me to do something for her! I didn’t exist until she needed me to do something for her! It’s always all about her.
The third call occurred on my birthday:
Hi Stephen, this is your mom. Wishing to call you and wish you a happy birthday. God’s blessings! Don’t know if you are out riding your bike (Harley). It’s such a beautiful day! Did you get my message about the stereo equipment? Please be cooperative and at least call me about that so I know one way or the other so I know if I’ll have to pay someone else to do it. God’s blessing always! Keeping you in my prayers and thoughts even though you seem to ignore me. I only have a few years left and I hope you do attend my funeral. That’s all I can say. Thank you. Good bye.
Incredible! Wow, what a guilt trip! Classic! I was impressed! And on my birthday! How special. Her attitude at the end of the call was extremely dismissive. I remember chuckling as I listened to the message. Truthfully, chuckling is a good sign: Chuckling means I’m not subject to her shenanigans anymore. Her guilt trips no longer have an effect! I think it’s amazing how she intersperses “God’s Blessings” and “Thoughts and Prayers” with her pathetic guilt laden drivel. So she’s coming from a superior position because she calls herself a Christian? Perhaps it’s a means to further guilt me into doing her bidding. The hidden message being: A good Christian son would drop everything and do his mother’s bidding when she asked.
Still shaking my head…